I'll Be There
by osnapitzaGLEEK
Summary: When Stella goes into a bit of a depression and keeps secrets from her friends, can Mac save the day and figure out what's really been knawing away at Stella? Read SMACKED! Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Tears slid down her cheeks as she looked into the white porcelain bowl that sat beneath her, "I'm so sorry," she spoke into the silence.

Mac pushed his chair back from his desk, grabbing the metal handle of a drawer and pulling it open. He slid yet another solved crime file into the mess and closed it. Sliding his chair back in the direction of his desk, he glanced up and saw Stella walk by. He shot her a grin, but only recieved a blank stare in return.

"Stella?" he said aloud, which only came across as a mouthed word to her.

Stella noticed that Mac spoke her name, but not in the mood, continued walking. She knew she'd hear about it later, but right now, that didn't matter. She had her own problems to deal with, work related and home related.

Mac leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face and through his hair in frustration. He hated that something had been bugging Stella for the last few weeks and that he couldn't figure it out. But he was bound to find out, one way or another.

Stella finally reached her office, kicking her shoes off by her coat rack. Her feet had been aching a lot more lately, and wearing heels became a bother.

Slipping into her chair, Stella leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. Stress and other problems were building and she didn't know how much more she could handle before she broke down and shattered into a million pieces.

"Stell?" Danny walked into Stella's office, knocking gently on the before fully entering.

"Yes, Danny?" annoyance was evident in her voice.

"We got a lead on our central park murder case," he kept his distance from her.

A flow of tears sat in Stella's eyes, so instead of making eye contact, she nodded to Danny, hoping he would go on without her having to speak.

"Linds and I are gonna go check this guy out now, so we'll call if we get anything more." He turned to leave.

"Alright," Stella sniffled, wiping the tear that seemed to escape the brick wall Stella was building around her emotions.

Danny paused and turned back. "Stell?"

"It's nothing, Danny. GO!" anger shreiked from her thin frame.

Danny took the hint and left, but not without one last glance at Stella.

When Stella was finally alone again, she grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes and nose. 'Suck it up, Stell! This isn't you. You're stronger than this!' she told herself.

Soon the tears were gone, and in their place sat annoyance and anger. Stella logged onto her laptop and pulled up the case she was working on, trying to clear her mind of her personal life.

Danny stopped by Mac's office on his way out with Lindsay, "Mac?"

"Yeah, Danny, what?" Mac looked from his file to Danny.

"Something's up with Stella. You should talk to her."

"If only she weren't so stubborn. I smiled at her earlier, but she seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me. Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll be fine. Go back to work." Mac looked back to his file.

Danny's head dropped to the floor. He felt guilty for leaving an upset Stella in her office, but if Mac said to leave her alone, that's the best he could do for now. So, taking his advice, Danny left with Lindsay by his side.

The clock in Stella's office chimed in midnight, and yet Stella continued her work. She couldn't go home, not now, not anytime soon. Home meant loneliness, and that was something she didn't need right now. Pulling up another tab on the internet, Stella typed google in the address bar and searched the problem that had been bugging her among other things.

After about 2 hours of research, Stella felt drained and dragged herself from her desk chair to her couch. She pulled the pillow that she had hidden under it and grabbed the blanket from the top of the couch. She was soon sunggled up and took only a few minutes more to finally let sleep take control of her body.

Mac watched the clock. It was already 2 in the morning, and he was still working. This wasn't anything new to him, but the fact that his partner was still here was bugging him. Not being able to stay out of her business anymore, Mac got up, locked his office door and went to Stella's office. Seeing a light on, he walked in. Not seeing Stella at her desk, Mac glanced around the room and spotted her on the couch, asleep.

He grabbed the blanket, pulled it up around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. Seeing a lit up computer screen, Mac knew Stella would be mad if she woke up to a dead laptop. He went to close the screen, but was drawn in to what was opened on Stella's screen.

Dropping his head, he shook it from side to side, shocked that this secret had been kept from him, not just one secret, but several. Glancing back to her, he only whispered one word into the silence filled room, "Why?"


	2. Chapter 2

Her body shook with uneasiness, a cold sweat dripped from her forehead. No other words left her mouth. Silence molded her, and she sat still, sinking deeper into her inner most thoughts.

A warm, calming smell awoke Stella from her much needed sleep. Rubbing away the sleep, she sat forward and saw Mac seated in her desk chair, a cup of coffee in his hand, and one sat closer to Stella. With a smile and no words, she reached over, nodded a 'Thank you' repsonse to Mac, and took her coffee.

The liquid ran down Stella's throat, and only after one sip, she felt more relieved than she had the previous night. Setting the cup down, she looked back over to Mac, "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Well good morning to you to," Mac chuckled before giving a straight up answer.

"Sorry, Mac. Let me try again. Good morning, and what may I ask is your butt doing seated in my chair?"

Mac couldn't help but laugh at Stella's playful mood this morning. "This butt is seated here because it has questions about yesterday."

Mac noticed a the mood change in Stella. Her face whitened and she seemed to lose all happiness.

"Stell?"

With no repsonse to Mac, Stella got up and left. She made her way to the locker room, and eventually to the showers.

The hot water hit her face, and with a stinging burn, Stella let it continue on. She couldn't take others questions right now. This was too stressful on her part, and to include others would be too difficult.

Finally being able to make some movement, she reached over and flushed away the pain and sorrow. The ache would remain in her heart forever, and bills would soon result from the situation, but for now, the problem faded into oblivion.


	3. Chapter 3

As the last drip made it's way down the drain and through the pipes, leaving her life forever, she let a few more tears be shed, then stood, trying to starighten her mood and sniff away the sadness.

The scalding water hit Stella's face, sliding all the way down her body. With a few silent cries, she let the pain go on. She felt as though she deserved to suffer, to feel the pain that she had tried to wash away.

Mac headed to the locker room. He couldn't help but go after his partner, his best friend. Seeing Stella's clothes folded on the bench, he took a seat next to them and faced himself in the direction of the shower Stella was in.

"Stella?" he practically whispered.

Hearing his voice, she jumped slightly, but continued her silence and torture.

"Come on, Stell. What the hell is going on?"

Trying to forget he was there, Stella only turned the water hotter, using the pain to block him out.

Mac noticed the heat become more intense, and the steam that left her shower was becoming more frightening for Mac to watch. He couldn't sit back anymore.

Grabbing a towel, he went to her shower,reached in, pulled Stella out, and wrapped her fragile body in the towel.

"Mac, what are you doing?" Stella cried out, "Let me go!"

"No!" Mac held his firm grip on her.

"You're hurting me!" she tried again.

Mac's eyes left the showers and went to Stella's.

"I'm barely holding you."

Mac and Stella both looked down to her arms and legs. Blisters had started forming, and Stella's skin became a deepened pink-red color.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Stella?" Mac took her to the bench and sat her down. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

Stella opened her mouth, but no words came out. Tears built in her eyes, and she looked to Mac, wishing he could read her thoughts so she wouldn't have to speak of what happened.

"Explain!" shouted a frustrated Mac.

"Ok, just stop yelling!" Stella let the tears flow.

With all that she had in her, she put on a smile, and left the restroom. She had to get back to work, get her mind off of this tragic accident.


	4. Chapter 4

She walked past his office, and trying to avoid any confrontation, she only glanced in his direction then looked away.

Stella couldn't bring herself to start the truth, what she had kept hidden for what seemed like an eternity.

"Stella?" Mac was becoming impatient again.

Her eyes met his, "Just give me a minute, ok?"

He nodded and went to the bathroom door, clicking the lock, shutting out the world from what he was about to be told.

Finally reaching her office, she felt more comfort there than she ever had before.

When the tears finally stopped and Stella had gotten everything off her chest, Mac just sat there, blank expressioned, with nothing to say.

Stella was becoming worried after about five minutes of silence and spoke, "Mac?"

He stood, looked to her, then looked away and left.

Stella watched him go, said nothing, just threw her body on to the floor and curled into a ball. The tears started flowing again, and she wished into the air, "Please, just end this now!"

_( from chapter 1)_

_Stella finally reached her office, kicking her shoes off by her coat rack. Her feet had been aching a lot more lately, and wearing heels became a bother._

_Slipping into her chair, Stella leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. Stress and other problems were building and she didn't know how much more she could handle before she broke down and shattered into a million pieces._

_"Stell?" Danny walked into Stella's office, knocking gently on the before fully entering._

_"Yes, Danny?" annoyance was evident in her voice._

_"We got a lead on our central park murder case," he kept his distance from her._

_A flow of tears sat in Stella's eyes, so instead of making eye contact, she nodded to Danny, hoping he would go on without her having to speak._

_"Linds and I are gonna go check this guy out now, so we'll call if we get anything more." He turned to leave._

_"Alright," Stella sniffled, wiping the tear that seemed to escape the brick wall Stella was building around her emotions._

_Danny paused and turned back. "Stell?"_

_"It's nothing, Danny. GO!" anger shrieked from her thin frame._

_Danny took the hint and left, but not without one last glance at Stella._

_When Stella was finally alone again, she grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes and nose. 'Suck it up, Stell! This isn't you. You're stronger than this!' she told herself._

_Soon the tears were gone, and in their place sat annoyance and anger. Stella logged onto her laptop and pulled up the case she was working on, trying to clear her mind of her personal life._

_The clock in Stella's office chimed in midnight, and yet Stella continued her work. She couldn't go home, not now, not anytime soon. Home meant loneliness, and that was something she didn't need right now. Pulling up another tab on the internet, Stella typed google in the address bar and searched the problem that had been bugging her among other things._

_After about 2 hours of research, Stella felt drained and dragged herself from her desk chair to her couch. She pulled the pillow that she had hidden under it and grabbed the blanket from the top of the couch. She was soon snuggled up and took only a few minutes more to finally let sleep take control of her body._

Mac's body went in to auto-pilot the minute he stepped out of the restroom. It seemed as if his thoughts consumed him. What he had just learned may have changed his life forever…


	5. Chapter 5

'_Do you remember that night, after work?_'

Her voice echoed through his thoughts, and he replayed what had just happened over and over again.

Walking back to his office, Mac took a seat at his desk. Files were still piled high in front of him, but he was too caught up in the past to actually get any real work done.

Without mentioning a word to anyone, Mac grabbed his jacket off the hook and left, to where he didn't know, but he had to get away from here, away from her, away from reality.

Her body felt weaker than it ever had before, and she couldn't push herself to move. She didn't want to be caught laying against a restroom floor balling her eyes out, but at this point, nothing else mattered but him, and with him not wanting anything to do with her, she felt as if the world had crashed around her, and there was nothing to motivate her to go on.

Shivers were sent up and down her spine, goosebumps formed along her skin, and the ache from the blisters still remained.

Mac turned left when he got out of the building, and headed for the local pub.

'Maybe a few drinks will help clear my head,' he thought to himself. Mac wasn't much of a drinker, but this situation called for it. Well, at least in his mind it did.

"Excuse me, could I get a beer?"

"Woah, Mac, drinking at 6 o'clock?" the bartender was shocked.

"Just keep em' coming," Mac wasn't in the mood.

And that, the bartender did. Soon enough Mac had consumed way more than the legal limit, and words were a blur as they left his mouth.

"Siiiiiiirrrrrrrrr, m-m-mooore beer pl-pl-please," Mac uttered to the bartender.

"No, Mac, you've had enough."

"God damnit, it's my body, I can do whatever the hell I want! Now give me another damn beer!"

The bartender only shook his head in response and left to serve another costumer.

Mac angrily picked himself up, threw twenty dollars on the counter, and walked out and back towards work.

By the time work was finally over, Stella had pushed herself to get dressed and go back to her office. She was silent though, as if she had turned herself into a mime. She spoke to no one and received the same silence in return.

Grabbing her coat from the rack, she slid it over her shoulders, leaving her arms out. She didn't have the energy or patience to put it on all the way.

Stepping in to the elevator, Stella was accompanied by Lindsay and Danny. Both just stared at her, and when she looked over her shoulder to them, they looked away as if nothing happened.

Upon reaching the lobby, Stella rushed off the elevator, outside, and to her left. Her head was dropped, so what was coming next was completely out of the blue.


	6. Chapter 6

_(crash)_

Stella fell backwards, landing on the pavement with a thud. "What the hell?" her tone was of more annoyance than pain. She looked up and saw Mac, standing there. "What, have I become invisible to you now?" Anger was rising in her hopeless body.

"W-what are y-you talkin-g about-t?" Mac looked dizzily towards her, but picked his head back up once he felt as though he were going to fall over.

Stella regained her balance as she stood to her feet, "Are you drunk, Mac?" This was more of a statement to her, than a question.

He laughed, "Pfft, no. Mac Taylor never gets drunk!" He pointed to himself.

"Come on, we need to get you home," Stella grabbed his arm and hailed the next taxi she saw.

Upon reaching Mac's apartment door, Stella reached in his pocket for his key.

"Hey, get out of there," Mac laughed and shoved Stella's hand away. Luckily, she already had her grip on the key.

"How many drinks did you have, Mac?" Stella became a bit concerned by this point, "And what drove you to drink?"

"Well," Mac started, "As many to get me this drunk, and cause some lady told me a secret, and it got to me, but don't tell her that!"

Stella pushed the door to his apartment open. If she hadn't felt bad enough already, knowing that she was the reason Mac was this drunk pushed her over the edge.

"Alright, well lay down and get some rest, I'll see you in the morning." She grabbed the door handle.

"No," he set his hand on hers, "stay here with me." Just as quickly as he had put it there, he pulled away and headed for somewhere to sit.

She pondered this thought for a moment, "I don't think that's such a good idea." The tingling feeling she recieved from his touch still remained after he had moved.

"I'm way to drunk to be alone," Mac grinned, throwing his body onto the chair facing the window.

Stella agreed, and having her friend instincts kick in, she took a seat on the foot rest by Mac.

He looked to her, "You're pretty!" A boyish grin appeared on his face.

"And you're drunk. C'mon, let's get you to bed." Stella stood and grabbed Mac's arm, pulling him from the chair.

She knew his apartment all to well, and so leading the way, she took him to his bedroom.

"I don't want to sleep," Mac fought away from Stella. "Let's makeout," he pushed Stella against a wall, and leaned in to kiss her.

Stella turned her head. As much as she had wanted to let this happen, she couldn't. She knew Mac wouldn't be this way if he weren't drunk, so doing things with him, _again_, the way he was just wouldn't be smart.

"Come on, what's wrong?" Mac saw the rejection in Stella's eyes.

"I can't do this. You need to sleep." Stella pushed on Mac's chest, leading him backwards in the direction of his bed.

Mac wouldn't go down without a fight, though. He wrapped his arms around her, and once he felt himself falling backwards, he only held on tighter.

"Mac, let..." Stella tried, but then stayed linked to him as they fell onto his bed. The tension of her body against his, the ache of the secret that she had held, the passion of wanting to just forget everything and give in, it all built.

Stella looked into Mac's eyes, and Mac into Stella's.

"Mac, I..."

He pressed his index finger to her lips, and just kept on staring.

And that's when everything became a mess.


	7. Chapter 7

In the heat of the moment, things changed for Mac and Stella. The tension became to strong, and all their emotions poured out.

And it all started with a kiss.

An hour later Stella lay there, her eyes wide open. Mac, on the other hand, has fallen asleep, his body pressed against hers.

Stella whispered into the silence, "What did we just do?"

She turned her head to him, well, as much as the closeness would allow her to. She just stared, no other words escaping her lips. But her thoughts did take over.

'_Jeeze Stella! This is what got you into this mess in the first place!_' she cursed herself over and over again.

Mac grunted, pulling Stella from her thoughts. She rolled away from him, looking out the window on her side of the bed. After a few minutes, Stella couldn't take it anymore. She sat up, located her articles of clothing with her eyes, found them in the dark, and headed for the bathroom.

Getting dressed, Stella looked at herself in the mirror, "Bonasera, snap yourself out of this funk!" She looked away, not feeling any different. It wasn't to long after Stella had sat down on the floor that knocks panged against the door.

"Yes?" she asked, just above a whisper.

"Stella?" a groggy Mac called out.

Stella stood and opened the door, "Yes, Mac?"

"I don't feel so go..." and it all came out. The puke landed on Stella's shirt and at her feet, covering them and the floor around them.

Stella's face cringed in disgust, but she let Mac threw, almost shoving him towards the toilet. Forcing herself to look down, she spoke, "I'm gonna borrow some sweats and a wife-beater. I'll be back to check on you in a minute." Stella unbuttoned her pants and slid them off. She looked to her shirt, and manuvuered out of it. She left him and headed for his closet, grabbing his gray NYPD sweats and a white wife-beater.

Once changed, Stella went back to Mac. She knelt at his side, her hand rubbing his back for a bit of comfort.

"I'm sorry for throwing up on you," Mac couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"It's ok, Mac. Don't worry about it." Stella grabbed a towel from the rack beside Mac and threw it over the puke, scooping it up. "You'll have to mop that later."

Mac nodded, "Yeah, I know."

"Good," Stella gave a small smile and made herself comfortable on the floor, still rubbing his back.


	8. Chapter 8

Mac had finally leaned himself back against his tub, his body needing all the support in the world.

"Stella?" his eyes were closed, and his voice was a deep mumble.

"Yeah, Mac?" she asked, looking at him in awe. She had never seen her boss, her partner in crime, so hungover.

"Can I get some Asprin?" He leaned his head up, but the pain was too much, and it dropped back once more.

"Yeah, just lay down on your side, I'll be right back."

Mac scooted his body the rest of the way to the floor, forming into some sort of a ball like form. His eyes remained closed, almost clenched due to the oncoming headache.

Stella stood up, took one last took to him, and left the bathroom. It only took her a second to find her way back to the kitchen. She scanned the cupboards, and finally found his medicine in a cupboard by itself. 'Strange!' she thought to herself. Taking down the bottle, she opened it and popped two asprin into her hands. After screwing the cap back on and placing it back where she found it, Stella was back to Mac's side. She grabbed a small cup from the sink, filled it with cold water, and handed that to him as well.

"Thanks for everything, Stell," Mac nodded in her direction, positioning himself to take the meds.

"Stop thanking me. You know I'm here for you, no matter what," Stella smiled.

Mac returned the action and took the second pill.

"Now let's get you back into bed," Stella grabbed Mac's hand and helped him stand up. He leaned against her, his body still needing the support of something else to keep him steady.

Upon reaching the bed, Stella lowered Mac as slowly as she could, but with him being so built, and her body not quite as strong as his, it was more of a flop to the bed. She helped him lift his feet, and once he was comfortable, she covered him.

Turning to leave, Stella felt a hand on her wrist. She turned back and was about to speak when Mac started talking, "Please, don't leave. You need some rest. Come lay down and take a load off."

The offer sounded like a dream, and Stella couldn't resist. She smiled and nodded. Without any other words, Stella climbed into Mac's bed, got comfortable, and closed her eyes. 'A break is nice' she thought to herself, 'And laying with the man I've fallen for isn't so bad either'.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Mac, I'm pregnant," Stella's voice was a soft, melodic tone._

_"That's ridiculous, I won't have it!" Mac shot back, pushing past Stella and walking out of the apartment._

Stella awoke, gasping for air. It was as if her heart had literally stopped, the pain of rejection killing her. She looked over to Mac, who was now out cold. Uncovering herself, she got up and walked out into the living room.

"I wonder what's on TV?" Stella asked herself.

She clicked through several channels before finally resting on TLC. 'Bringing Home Baby' flashed on the screen. Stella turned the volume down low, not wanting Mac wake and come look for her. She watched as the on-screen couple smiled at their bundle of joy. The mother craddled the baby in her arms, singing a lullaby, as the dad watched from behind.

Tears stung Stella's eyes, and she couldn't help but wish that were her and Mac. Letting the tears fall, she glued her eyes to the TV, falling into a bit of a trance.

Mac awoke, his head still pounding, but not as badly as it had been earlier. He rolled over, "Stell?" He patted the spot where she should have been laying, and realizing she wasn't there, sat up, dropped his feet to the floor, and stood with all the energy he had left.

His feet padded across the wood floor of his apartment, down the hall, and out into the living room. The flickering light off the wall had signaled where Stella was located. Making his way to the couch, he saw her sitting there, watching. His eyes glanced to the TV, not knowing what had grabbed Stella's attention so closely.

And then it hit him.

'I love you, baby Emma,' the mother cooed on the show.

'Daddy loves you too, sweetheart,' the father chimed in, kissing his wife on the cheek and running his fingers across the baby's arm.

Words escaped him. He felt breathless in that moment. Was this apart of Stella's silent treatment...something that she almost had, but lost?

"Stella?" Mac touched her shoulder.

Stella jumped, her heart picking up speed, "God damnit, Mac! Don't do that!"

"Sorry, didn't mean to. What are you doing out here?"

"I had a nightmare..." she paused, letting it replay in her memory, and still keeping her eyes locked on the show, spoke again, "And I couldn't get back to sleep...so I came out here."

Mac believed her, but not completely, "Is something bothering you, Stell? What was the nightmare about?"

Stella breathed heavily, "If I tell you, will you just stop prying?"

"Of course," Mac rounded the couch and sat down next to her, twisting his body to face her.

"Ok, well..."


	10. Chapter 10

Stella took a deep breath before continuing, "And thats when you yelled and left!"

One single tear left Stella's eye and dripped slowly down her cheek. Mac, with the gentlest touch, wiped it away.

"I would never do that to you Stella." Mac tried to soothe her.

"But in a way, you did."

Mac thought about what she said, then asked, "What do you mean?"

"Look at yourself!" Stella scooted away from him, "You went out and got drunk to ease the news, Mac!"

She twisted her body away, not wanting him to see the hurt he had caused her.

"Stell!" he touched her shoulder, but she jerked away.

"No, Mac! Why? Just answer me that. Why did you feel the need to get drunk?"

Mac only sighed.

"Seriously? You can't even tell me that much?" Stella stood.

"Please, sit down. Let me explain."

"I don't need to sit for you to explain. So start!" She moved across the room in a quick step. Her back was still turned to him. "Well?"

"When you told me the first part, that you were pregnant...I was happy, but scared at the same time..." Mac spoke just above a whisper.

"And you think I wasn't?" Stella finally turned to face him.

"Of course not! Please, let me talk."

"Fine," Stella huffed.

"And then you told me the rest..."

_*Tears slid down her cheeks as she looked into the white porcelain bowl that sat beneath her, "I'm so sorry," she spoke into the silence.*_

"You told me you lost the baby...the one thing I thought could finally bring us together...was ripped from us in an instant..."

Mac was now sniffling back the tears himself, whereas Stella just let them fall.

"Mac, there was nothing we could do...that wasn't our fault..."

"I know that, but...god damnit!" Mac punched the pillow that lay next to him on the couch.

"And what do you mean the 'only' thing that could bring us together? How do you think we made that living being in the first place?"

Mac sighed, "Yeah, but look at what you were going to do. I saw your computer screen, Stella. I saw what you were going to do!"

Stella's face twisted in confusion, but in that same moment, she remembered.

_*Seeing a lit up computer screen, Mac knew Stella would be mad if she woke up to a dead laptop. He went to close the screen, but was drawn in to what was opened on Stella's screen. Dropping his head, he shook it from side to side, shocked that this secret had been kept from him, not just one secret, but several. Glancing back to her, he only whispered one word into the silence filled room, "Why?"*_

"Mac, I..." but her words jumbled into a big pile of nothing.

"You what, Stella? You were going to abort the baby and not tell me about it? Just live your life keeping that huge secret from me?" Mac now stood in anger.

"That's not what I was going to do at all!" Stella yelled, "If you would've looked closer, you would've seen that the website was also a place that took babies to give away to foster parents!"

Mac yelled back, "Are you kidding me? You still would've kept it from me. That baby was very much mine as it was yours!"

"I know that!" Stella sat down, dropping her head into her hands, "I know that, Mac!"

Mac grunted in frustration and sat back down. "Why did you want to keep it from me?"

"Because! After that night, it took you so long to go back to normal. It didn't seem like you wanted it to happen. If you didn't want it to happen, why would you want a child from it?" Stella's voice was now low and had a hurt tone to it.

"That's not true, Stella. I wanted that to happen, that's why it happened."

"Then why did you act weird about it after?" she looked up to him.

"Because I didn't know how you felt about it!" Mac tried to sympathize with her.

"Really, Mac? That's your excuse?" Stella stood, walked over to the door, and with one last sigh stated, "You could've asked."

With that, she slammed the door behind her and headed up the stairs to the roof.


	11. Chapter 11

Once Stella reached the roof, she walked over to the edge and grabbed on to the railing, her body falling against it in weakness. Tears poured down her cheeks and she let out screams of frustration that had been building ever since she had lost the baby.

She collapsed and curled into a ball, letting the sadness overpower her. She had nothing to live for anymore, or so she thought.

The door to the roof opened and closed again, but Stella didn't lift her head. She knew, by the footsteps, who it was.

He lifted her onto his lap, rocking her back and forth.

"Shhh," he cooed in her ear, trying to calm her.

Stella's cries became short sniffles, but the pain was still there.

"What I said down there, that wasn't an excuse, Stell. I was going to talk to you, but every time I meant to, something came up. Either a job related task, or I just plain chickened out. That was a big leap for us, and I freaked."

Stella lifted her head, making eye contact with him. She could see one single tear strolling down his cheek, the pain clearly showing through his eyes now more than ever.

"When I saw that website, a part of me died inside. I was shocked that you would do something like that, it's not like you."

"But Mac, I wasn't going to abort the baby, I told you that."

"Yeah, I know that now, but the site was mainly about abortion, and I'm 100% against it, and I thought you were too. I got so pissed after seeing that, I couldn't talk to you about anything that had happened."

Stella only sighed, not knowing what to say next.

"Stella, why didn't you want to keep that child?"

"Because Mac. I figured you wouldn't want it. You are always working, and so am I. When would we have time for a kid?"

"We'd make time, Stella, that's what you do." Mac brushed his finger through her hair.

Stella was silent once more. Thoughts raced in her head, about work, about the long hours, about her pay...and then they switched to what life would be like if they did have a child...the late nights of snuggling with that baby, all the "I love you mommy and daddy" 's they'd receive, the clothes they'd buy, the time they'd spend, and last but not least, the memories they'd make.

"What?" Mac noticed the small smile that had taken to Stella's cheeks.

"Think about how different life would be with a baby, Mac." She sat up, looking into his icy blue eyes. She could see the recognition, everything she thought he was now thinking.

"Wow," he whispered.

"I know..." but then she stood, grabbing the railing, "but we can't have that now."

"Maybe not right this instant, but in nine months, sure."

Stella turned her head to him, "Really? You mean that Mac?" Excitement was evident in her voice, but she tried to maintain it.

He only nodded.

And that was the beginning of their new life together.

The End. :)


End file.
